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#s might be important for thee future.
Posted:Apr 21, 2017 10:18 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2017 11:28 am

While drunk outside a bar on a corner, I ran across two bulky gents who after asking for a smoke and detaining me to discuss among other things: choking their girlfriends showed me both of their 'trails' at the same moment. I was made to feel this was a strange turn of events. I said, "I'm confused.' "This is the longest conversation I ever had about nothing substantial." I addressed the red haired ruffian, "I thought you said you had a place." I walked away hearing them call 'it's not nothing.' but not pursue me. The night didn't seem to be trailing off in any way that's good for me.
I'm not exactly looking for where they pin their badges.

I came over a dude's place. And the sofa was so plush. Sofa so good. I could hardly believe it when he got off behind the throwpillows where I did not even catch a glimpse of his gasm. And, miffed, I got up:dry, i might add..and scolded, "Just how come Your people won't ever just join the Union. I was so close.
We met at a Puerto Rican Day Festival and parade.
I thought it would work.

I never thumb my nose at at nobody. But, I thumb their noses and take two steps back, close one eye tight, zoom in on their chin and call thems a work of art.

I was about to do a guy and showing-off to me, he went right into the talent portion of the program. I indulged the five second act and then asked if only the /puppet/ had any other talents. He went right back into character making his little homunculus snake over to my side and rise-up in grand spectacle and reveal its cottonmouth. Then, he unbuttoned my fly. Boo-hiss. I suggested he get it 'put down' with the scissors because all I felt was one clammy mitt and it did nothing for me. A real let down. I had wanted a tongue lashing in felt. "Cause we later head to punch its throat back in, I saw the problem--the stitched part of the neck he made himself became undone. I called his Mr. Stritcher a fraud, plus I might add, it wouldn't go back in after; so I stood firm he ditch his partner in crime or I'd ditch the pair of 'em. What's the mystical meaning of this? Who's gonna believe that thing's ever gonna catch a voice again
Criminal mystique.
Posted:Apr 5, 2017 8:57 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2017 3:09 pm

'TMZ ran a program highlighting Donal Trump's idea for America with a brilliant device of using items collected over the years in his living area as a backdrop to run by him for commentary to scope-out his innerworkings Harvey Levin prompted him on: how it's going 'sofa sooo good' and what he'll bestow the American people, "Vow to make Them feel part of the furniture."

The only people to deport are non-meat eaters who won't go outside to fart. And those who'll eat eggs and animal loins, but not babies.

I erlub my peffic smul.

A judge was going to send me up the river "You have been tried and found treacherous..."
So, I then just tapped my lawyers shoulder, and he stood up summoning the judge letting him see how in his decision he'd forgotten to bang his gavel and so now had an upper term for any sentence he could even get to dole-out.
So, turning on me asked me whether I had any final words?
And, I sang~'Yeah~try, try again!~'

The devil is loose. Must be. While the natives are restless.

The Cma home audience not wanting Beyonce to perform is like a lap dancer refusing someone saying: 'Sit down here upon my lap. My lap runneth over!'

--I'm always a nervous wreck. Each time I see a backpack, I think there's going to be a bomb come with as its contents, when I see a skydiver he will plummet to his death, and when I see the 3rd way I can wear them suspenders, my pants won't fall down but I'll be seen like a farmer is.

Rushing pales in comparison to being all huffy when choosing paper or plastic
Trust schmrust--fed up
Posted:May 5, 2017 4:16 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2017 8:48 am

There's been an uptick of inability to believe in our fellow man in almost all cases. The explosion of meth precipitated it by and large, but confidence men have become bold-faced scammers and insidious identity thieves. But, suspicion and surveillance are really just a perfect marriage. All the town/neighborhood watches can't help
the plain fact of the matter that a cleansing is sorely needed as the deepest wells of human feelings are blowing their gaskets. Man can not be trusted, because no man really can know another(exceptin' in the Biblical sense) and that makes people sad. Naive dingbats who want to sob! But still we need each other at points. And eagle-eyes might suit clan domination, but does little for the short-sighted stragglers who need togetherness feelings as well or turn savage. We must really attempt not to irk one another, but the innocent, self-centered protective Ma Barker/gun moll crap needs to subside! When you rise in "oh no he dih-ihnt" self-righteousness cause you have room and your eyes peeled, you might forget others without MySpace accounts who really do have free right to passage without your gated electrified gates, and barbed wire to worry about injuring their person. And you might be the ones to get sideswiped when you get caught up and found out to be just as nasty when your comforts get absent-minded and all you rule the roost over fall along with you, after you drop your cell or keys in parts unknown. We must balance the hectic fray with wide open spaces to combat this very human tendency to target others who we think are better than us, or we feel we'd be better off without. We're not in most cases. And if you've drawn people casing your place, you probably have stored up a great reservoir of fear.

Two men enter. One remains. Be that one!!!! The one staying in your caverns loves you more than the one who's head of to the hills with his undies in tow.

They say if you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas which holds true. But, if you treat the mangey mutt(of a human being)you can see also that all it takes to ameliorate the unrestrained danger they might pose is to protect yer necks.

Self-protection should be the watchword. Not an obsession with wondering about instincts that work fine in and of themselves.

Put yourself out there, and feel the rush of what instinct can offer without conquering!

I keep dogs in a cage because they need it, but they most assuredly like to be walked(collared, visited, swept up after, and have their vision restored and they like to hear the call of the wild and shit in the woods. So, I reward Spot with Ms. Jamila's Turkey Jerky, Karen's Duck Dollops, Marjeane's Catered Chicken Doo-dads, Terry's Veal Marsh Mallow Mix Treat, Timothy's grass-fed Beef Brain Kabobs, Marc Antonio's luscious Lamb Critter Eats, and Papa Jim's Pork Rind Surprises. And when I got the packet they shipped this 'tall order' in for me one(1)flea collar slid out the Manila envelope. What the fuck is going on on Harz Mountain? They can't have any fleas.
They don't got any livestock!!
Sit well.
Posted:Apr 30, 2017 11:54 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2017 11:28 am

My man goes out to the mall with me and says, "Oh look at him. Oh he's a stud. Wow, who wouldn't? He's cute. He's cute. And cut, too....(10 minutes pass)...Dang. Look over here. Egad. I wouldn't throw him out of bed, though. He's cuter than the other one.... He's a very scintillating conversationalist at 64. On the other hand, I just follow the bouncing balls

I work all day at work at home 'cause I do myself for a living. And the phone calls just never stop. I have to say how technology is become such a curse. I swear, I mean --I scream up a storm saying fuck fuck fuck each time So much so; I won't even check to see if it's someone I know. Can't be good for me. And what is my reward: celery. Mutant celery at that it was thick in places, but somehow folded over tight in others. I was then forced on a diet this week. Being hilarious is like being pregnant--Get'em jokes out of me. Not fat for nothing. And, when I myself a snack, I tried so hard to shove my peanut butter in the slot the celery had for it with a butter knife. It was like deja vu with an uncut cock!.

I went up a side street in town and saw a ne'er do well. And he demanded, "gimme sumadat juice. I politely came over and informed him. This is MY farm fresh dairy iced tea. It has no carbohydrates, no real lemons, and it says right on the label--if you pay proper attention: 0 % juice. No nutrition whatsoever!
But, he still wanted it.
I handed it over saying,"If you insist."
Afterwards being refreshed, he fingered my trail, clamped a titty-ring on me, and pulled me into a bar. And made me buy him a drink.
Karmic payback is a bitch.

I was at a chicken restaurant. All finished the pretty adequate food when I started seeing a member of the clean up crew eye-ing me. I was gnawing the chicken meat off, and ignored them right back. And, when I gulped the last sliver down. I saw again. I was thinking all,"Are they going to let me finish in peace, or not?!" Then, I wiped my face with a napkin, got up, and went to the bathroom. But, I stopped, and turned when I saw another one of them go to wipe down and clear my table. I shouted,"Would you jump in my grave that quick?"
And, he says,"Just for your bones."
"We're closing."
Posted:Apr 27, 2017 12:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2017 3:20 pm

Wouldn't change my life for the world. Despite, the fact that being gay so long has hardly been the easiest of lives. I have compiled my experiences for your benefit. I am happy, and in my many years, I've discovered so many types and the joys and pitfalls of the life. Here's some I can share today.

First off, if you tend gay or straight, man or woman the best dating advice is as follows: If there's a hair upon it, you DO have the right to throw it back at his belly.

It became inevitable that I would start doubting as to if I was ever really ready to come out. Even today, I have qualms which arise. I haven't come out yet, but I Am available on wide release. Film at 11.

Thank God, I found the perfect man. One with whom I could be a cruel and generous lover to. We clicked just like that. In the heat of the moment, I announced how it was going to go down with us in bed, "And, now, for my greatest trick, to saw a man in half." I will say, I was magnifique.

I was 'flashed' by this gentleman who first took out all he had in his pockets so he could serve me right to his apparent heaping helping. But, as he slipped out his handkerchief(How aristocratic!) it was tied to another and another and very many odd colored more handkerchiefs. At last we arrived at sight of the pubes at top of his offered up implement. But the FUN was still on on his part, he asked me to pick two cards off the top where he went and covered his self back up. Annoyed by now, I did. And he revealed I had two twos and he said he did, to.
(I had more).
Posted:Apr 17, 2017 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2017 11:17 am

I tried the new cab service called Uber introduced to my town over the weekend. A man came over much more quick than I expected. Luckily, I was already out of doors. He said, "Hey hey You you--get into my car!! And, I pointed at myself and said,"Who Me?" And, he barked out,"Yes, you. Get into my car!!" Whoooaaaa!!!(Engine noise) He peeled out so rapidly, I almost got the wind knocked out of me flying back into the seat.
I yelled ,"Where are you taking me!?!?!"
But, he soon found a different fare to replace me with, and pulled over, grabbed me out of my ride and I got pushed into a bird sanctuary. And, he said to count to 100, and don't even try any funny business.
I give it a three out of a possible seven stars. I did enjoy myself better there overnite than where I had originally planned on: Peter Nero and the Philly Pops.
And, he provided me a card in case I ever decide I want to use him again. But, on the back: He wrote in:"Don't call us, we'll call you." B.O.

I put my hand in the cookie jar and got bit by some sort of cookie monster and so I pulled it away. I always have to have my hand in everything. I'm up to my elbows But, being a bit pissed off royally for being bit. I inquired as to why it had to do me this way. And, he said, "I'm not the one who has bit you, dummy." I'll ask whether the shadow knows. He always knows the lay of the land.

I went to Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire with my lover. And, they had us crowded with a bunch of oddball strangers without the customary fork, knives and spoon and I have to say I didn't even know how to act. So, after imbibing my grog, I started throwing chicken bones. An old thyme serving wench came over and told my lover,"This male may not revel by throwing bones from the round table." He said, "Why not, he's an otter!" She stood corrected, "Oh, well, that'll be fine , sire, no issue!!!" "Sbut soft, prithee, seriously if this be the manner he acts... Don't be having kids!'

The waitress at Friendly's grabbed me a menu and said,"I'll bring you to a nice table; when she spotted my partner a bit behind the times coming also--and so she snatched another menu. I didn't know your father was joining you. I said, "He's not my father. he's my lover." And, I pointed at her and say, "I jusss... found Big Foot. He's in your mouth."
I bet you have one big dic'
Posted:Apr 15, 2017 10:28 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2017 11:19 am

'tionary at home. Made you look!

I am not stupid. I am stumped.
I can hack it!
Now, looks like I'm lopsided.

Why are some people so naive? I am smart, but not streetwise. When I rummage thru Macy's to get a new Lycra shirt, people ask how come he doesn't know we don't have his size. And heads shake. And, when the men grab their Arnold Palmers back out my hands at @DD they ask why exactly won't I get my own. Damn TMZ roaming after me so often 10:30 a.m. to Noon-ish.

I have one small grey chest hair, now. One grey armpit clump on either side and one lone pubic grizzly. I'm going to look forward starting tomorrow to being stuffed. I'm off to my adult-learning class after cramming all night for exams. All these years I was a 'wastoid in not pursuing my goal, and now I feel I'm flagging. I have exam-atosis. I should not had have 8 a V and masturbated.
Now, I don't feel up to bat.
I got 50 minutes until the bell, I'll wait to see if I feel up to stroke.

Always remember Relationship+ Sex Rule#13: You can't throw love around.

Standing Os!
Posted:Apr 12, 2017 12:50 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2017 8:06 am

It's not Ur-anus it's Our-anos!! You get on my nerves! You get on my gay nerves!!! with these stupid things you insist on keep saying wrong.

My Korean friend said not to call her as her phone fell in a pool and is now buried in rice. OOOOOO. Remind me not to eat at her place. I really crave this one place we kept passing with it's sign letters on the blink, EaTJoe's

My neighbor from youth just posted she and her hubby are breaking up today on this their 25th anniversary. She just let it all out written as some sort of memorial for the record. Me, I hide my shame. So, I gave her a shotgun divorce. Sent an e-card animation for the occasion of a ring going being shoved right on a finger, plus backround hillbilly music and wrote in under her posting: 'Yuze my woman, now.'
I'm not the most sensitive person, but I shared a paper cup of coleslaw, once-- at their wedding.

Donald Trump is taking time to save all of us trouble. But, it's a bait and switch. He's gonna start taking trouble to bring in every pain he's put aside within for the Tribulation.
I'm the only one who can help you!

You can tell true news from fake. True news is more distinguished.
End of the line. Period.
Posted:Apr 8, 2017 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2017 12:10 pm

An intentionally muffled private conversation overheard on tram)How can you conduct a love triangle, if you won't pair up and now you say you're a virgin and Swee'pea isn't ours to keep? At all.. You're actually a virgin?And you're leaving me for him? How low! Anybody, but him! !!! Blow me!!!(pipe goes off like a train whistlePIPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--pipe falls from mouth, passengers peace broken)
(shaky)You're not yourself, Popeye. But, you'll remember how I did 'that' that one time?
Well, fuck me up.(Blushing 15 shades)

I knocked over several houseplants sitting on top of my sound system and the soil got all inside of the console. After, I took the whole half hour to clean everything back up, I turned on the TV. just in time to catch the atmospheric outlooks. Now, I'm afraid to go outdoors. The mold count is through the roof, and I'm afraid I'll OD on a double-dose.

I pulled my friend along to see the most immense politician to hear him deliver a mind-numbing speech& I was riveted so taken by this rising superstar's way with words. At the podium before the ever gathering crowds, he began to speak and I had to shush my companion so I could hear from his very own lips how we might tackle the issues of the future of great import to each one of us
He appeared looming large,and expertly addressed the audience. Here's a snippet that hit home IMHO.... "I think it will be hard, I expect it to be long.."
After it was over, we came up on the end of the line, and I slapped my friend's back to make him spit out his Cert.
I felt strange in this great man's presence. I stammered,
"You have your way with words."
And he said, "You made it with your friend."
How'd he know?!
So in tune.

I was relaxing with a friend of mine, a lady who holds down the fort at a local mini-mart. When this old lady walks on in. She asks, "Do you know whether it's supposed to rain next Friday?? I have a flight to Madagascar. It's the trip of a lifetime. My friend and I just looked back at one another. And I said, sternly "It might," Then turned to my friend,"I just heard from another customer there are some cumulus clouds," and 'might spawn a tornado'." Then the lady shrieked, forcing my friend to drop everything, Oh no, I can't miss my flight. That would be devastating! for me; I already got out of the trip for Bonaire to make it to Antananarivo".
My friend said,"What?"
And the woman said," Antananarivo the capital of Madagascar." " It's in their Malagasy tongue--the agent informs me."
Well, I said, it doesn't seem to matter where exactly, but how.
And the lady, demanded, "What AM I GOING TO DO??"

Me and my friend just couldn't understand.
Il Plu." And when, Il Plu. You should duck!"

Note: Il Plu is French
Up, off, over and out.
Posted:Apr 7, 2017 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2017 12:10 pm

We are quite privy in this nation to vote or even not participate as the case may be--which is known as voting with Our feet. While elsewhere--like in North Korea.; one can't even refuse an opinion poll without a head count being done to find out the result of the contest until ALL agree

On the day of the great loss. 6/25/09. One very important thing was overshadowed. It was like losing a condom. Not only did the world lose a glove(it would surely have to get auctioned of). It lost a hole. It was as if the glove had a hole in it. A damn shame.

I witnessed an old man and woman nestled together tensely in a waiting room. When the psychotherapist whisked in she introduces her self to the woman and questions, "Is this your husband?" Shortly, the lady says no. He looks concerned to her and embarrassed says I am your husband. And to the therapist, "I am her husband." Viewing this on the sidelines, I blurt out my diagnosis, "It's complicated!" And they turn to me like seeking more and are escorted away by the annoyed counselor. I say to myself, 'I liked the show. Now, where's dinner?' "Oh, I think I got a Kit-Kat(*tm)around here.

A guy ran past me to the counter of a drug store and confided in the cashier how he didn't know they also had zebra striped gum by the counter until he got on top of the store.
Standing behind him my ever loving mind wondered, "Is he a top or a bottom?
Then, he corrected himself(as if it mattered)aloud "I mean, the front of the store."
And I thought, "Is he straight or is he gay?"
And the cashier told me after he left, he's a dentist. And this is how.
He goes back top front bottom."
So, now I get his approach.
I, myself. I'm all about the optics. So, I always aim for a gleaming white, cresting, pearlescent smile.
I'm very sensitive.
Only around my teeth, though.

Michael Jackson has a new cut Xscape released posthumusly after his death. Wow! I could really see! it! coming out way previous to it's date of release One foot went out from the grave. Turns out he is-- pretty pushy.

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