The pleasure is never a true life for me. I find life incomplete to have feeling for men. I tried stopping my feeling, but it's useless. I can't or dare not face it, and I still feel so bad for my parents, siblings, friends,... It's like a disease that makes me disable. I can't have a big dream, or even if I had, I feel myself a failure.
I don't know. It's always a lonely world now. Though I have many friends who I like, I dare not tell any of them. In fact, I have never told anyone who I am. I even refuse when such question was asked.
I hope to find a friend, a teacher here.
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